7 June 2008
Human After All
The one where I admit to an irrational grudge against Daft Punk.
Listening to iTunes today in “Party Shuffle“ mode, it decided “Steam Machine” from Daft Punk’s Human After All album was the best way to keep the party alive.
For a second, I found myself seething with rage.
Discovery was like magic. It was affirmation that, yes, Daft Punk are the fucking masters of electro. One hour of solid, unrelentingly perfect electro. You think you can do this better? Go back to your Mother’s basement, newbie. There were times when listening to that record actually made me question my sexuality. Could I have sex with a robot? Could I do that?
And then, four years later: Human After All. It was like your best friend, who’s been right there with you for seven years of your life, walking up to you, punching you in the face, and then shitting on you. It was bland, and it was repetitive, and it was boring.
Of course, they came through in the end. Daft Punk released Alive and it was like a personal, handwritten apology addressed directly to me. Well, I’m sorry Daft Punk, but that’s just not good enough. Every time iTunes throws a track off Human After All at me, it’s like a personal insult. I feel like I’m hearing the single best argument against electro that exists: “This is fucking boring and repetitive. What is this noise? Vocoders? Pick up a real instrument, dickhead.” It almost makes me ashamed for all the times I’ve recommended Daft Punk in the past, like someone I know is going to come up to me one day and say “I bought Human After All, and it was fucking terrible. My mother died, my wife left me, I lost my job, and it’s all your fucking fault.”
So thanks, Daft Punk. Thanks a lot.